I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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