OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
