you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
