My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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