i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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