IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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