dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
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Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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