Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
