Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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