I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize