Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌