Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME