Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.

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(515): This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot. http://tfl.nu/nttq

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(650): View more from California

i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick

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(650): i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick http://tfl.nu/pgxx

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(718): View more from New York

I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?

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(718): I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life? http://tfl.nu/2jrg

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(440): View more from Ohio

Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.

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(440): Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true. http://tfl.nu/r2p3

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(864): View more from South Carolina

she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY

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(864): she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY http://tfl.nu/d7k6

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(803): View more from South Carolina

It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.

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(803): It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work. http://tfl.nu/kzvl

Replies (26) Good night (4112) Bad night (1157) Order T-Shirt
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.

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(717): Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list. http://tfl.nu/k33x

Replies (27) Good night (4781) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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(231): View more from Michigan

Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.

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(231): Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk. http://tfl.nu/0k6c

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.

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(202): Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful. http://tfl.nu/bz9e

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(352): View more from Florida

he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled

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(352): he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled http://tfl.nu/6wmo

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.

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(704): Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks. http://tfl.nu/2r5q

Replies (6) Good night (1692) Bad night (591)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.

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(978): I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest. (1-978): I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text. http://tfl.nu/56wf

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life

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(215): From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life http://tfl.nu/t68e

Replies (2) Good night (1150) Bad night (489)
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(765): View more from Indiana

You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.

(574): View more from Indiana

No I didn't. Whiskey did.

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(765): You wore a man's plastic top hat last night. (574): No I didn't. Whiskey did. http://tfl.nu/63th

Replies (5) Good night (1664) Bad night (385)
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(248): View more from Michigan

We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.

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(248): We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom. http://tfl.nu/ik6d

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