You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex