The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't deserve a penis
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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