his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
