We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
