I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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