Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you didnt know i had herpes?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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