so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
