oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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