I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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