what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
