Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
