I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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