Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
