dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
