You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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