think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
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