are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
where am i from again
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
