he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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