I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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