She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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