Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
