My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
