I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
