Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
