I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
