....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
