Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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