I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
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I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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