my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
