If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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