I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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