the new term for farting is butt boxing.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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