there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize