I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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