how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize