kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
