I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
