his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
