she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
