Already got asked if we're dating
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
