I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
