idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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