if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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