Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
