Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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