pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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