I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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