My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
