Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
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come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
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It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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